From Paris with Love

I am so done with trying. I don’t understand why every thing in my life has to be so hard. I just want to enjoy these few little years I have on earth and its like everyone just doesn’t want that for me. So forget them. Ill do this all on my own and I will be just fine. I officially Don’t Care.

Sooooooo many emotions right now i cant even concentrate. Life is crazy. Life comes at you fast, too fast some times. I get so upset so quickly and then I just start to laugh looking back. It sucks. I mean im happy I do have the memories at least its just that sometimes its too many and it just takes me a while to get back to reality. I just wish I could start over cuz this feeling of not finishing what i started sucks too. But then there are days that are good, days that I think I’ll be ok, I just want him to be happy. I guess that is the bottom line. I hope he is happy.

So much is on my mind right now, its jus racing. So many thoughts, so many memories, good and bad. Im def supposed to be studying right now but I cant focus so whats the point. I flip flop so much in my mind and its not fair, its just not fair and sometimes I feel like I just want to run away from it all and never have to deal with it again, but that wont solve anything. Then itll just be the unanswered questions thatll constantly run through my mind, just racing. Whats a girl to do?

Well today is my first day back at school. Coming back through those front gates, seeing the security people, seeing the deans and some of my friends I have to admit I missed this. I was sooo ready to leave last semester but I am still really happy to be back. I guess we will see how long this feeling lasts though. Theres some new editions to the room, I now have a t.v and a mirror. I also have a new suitmate and it should be very interesting seeing how she interacts with the rest of my suitmates. All in all this semester is looking brighter than the last one and I gotta say Im looking forward to it.